Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Ah, for the good ol' days!

I got this via email today, and I loved it. I don't mean to plagarize, but I have no idea where it originated, and I really wanted to share it with anyone who hasn't already seen it. Here it is:

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies for life.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because
Jeffrey is determined to have a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy works off the car window repair and learns to be more careful, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school

1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly on an airline again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

There are reasons why they call them the, "good, old days."


Blogger nbosch said...

I like "1957-Ants die".

1/29/2008 5:12 PM  
Anonymous Zeke said...

Isn't it frightening how close to the truth some of these really are??

1/30/2008 3:18 PM  
Blogger Liz Ditz said...

other than the fact that you can't whup ADHD out of kids, this was excellent.

1/31/2008 12:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that's what happens when the government gets involved in education

2/01/2008 4:55 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...

If only the 50's were the pleasant TV styles myth most people seem to imagine it was, eh?

2/01/2008 7:51 AM  
Blogger rightwingprof said...

"If only the 50's were the pleasant TV styles myth most people seem to imagine it was, eh?"

Having grown up in that era, I can say that they were far, far better than today's "aggrieved culture" popular mythology says they were. People grew up and became adults; now, they grow up and whine like children, and demand checks to sit on their butts and do nothing.

If I had a choice, I'd take the 50s, for all their faults.

2/01/2008 8:54 AM  
Blogger nbosch said...

As a kid, growing up in the 50's, I feel like I was much more relaxed than the kids I see today.

2/01/2008 9:19 AM  
Blogger Eliza Gordon said...

Education also polish a Human Personalities and change his habits, nature Education makes a man Reasonable enough that he can i pay someone to do my essay civilian of a community.

5/10/2015 3:48 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home